As of today, September 22nd, there are exactly 100 days until this year is over.

What can you do with 100 days? 

There’s nothing particularly special about 100 days, but then again there is something about a nice round number like that. 

This time of year is usually when business owners put together their annual plans for the upcoming year to ensure they stay focused on where they want to go and what they want to accomplish. 

But in nearly 100% of consultations I’ve done with new clients that I coach, nobody does this with their own family. 

At best, it’s loosely discussed with their spouse in between shuttling kids all over. 

At worst, things are left up to chance and it’s never realized until about 9-1/2 months into the next year that you’re in exactly the same spot as the year prior. 

So here’s how I help people create the framework of an annual family plan. I call it the Triple R’s. Grab a piece of paper and a pen and follow along:

[Spoiler alert: if you’ve ever seen/heard of the rocks, pebbles, sand, and water story – this is that with specifics focused on the family unit.]

Step 1: SEASONAL RHYTHMS – Write out when your kids start and end each semester of school. 

As a parent myself, and a coach who works with parents, I can’t tell you how much impact the start and end of school seasons has on how a family operates. There is no use fighting this, nor should you be surprised how family rhythms change. Rather, you should embrace it and plan accordingly for it. Little things like: anticipating traffic to be slower and more frustrating, earlier mornings battling grumpy kids, late evening scrambles to get dinner together amidst all.the.activities. 

This is also the time when you’d look ahead and decide: 

• When would be the best time to take family trips?
• What new prayer devotional will you complete?
• When do you need to schedule back to school dr visits and haircuts?
• What house maintenance needs to be done for what season?
• When do your cars need to be serviced?
• When do you need to sign your kids up for their next season of extracurriculars? 

Step 2: MONTHLY RITUALS – Write out the highlight experiences you want to have each month.

Fellas – you need time alone with your spouse. Plan (at the very least) a monthly dinner out. In honor of the cinematic masterpiece that was ‘Behind Enemy Lines’, I call this ‘Operation Dinner Out.’ Yes…I even have a checklist for every step I need to take to make this a home run. I’m happy to share, just shoot me a message and I’ll send it right over!

Don’t ask for her help. Take charge and do it. 

Your wife will love you for it and I’ll appreciate your ‘thank you’ later!

This is also the time when you’d do the following:

• Plan out time with your kids, together and one-on-one if you have more than one. If you’re adventurous enough, let them decide where you’ll go and what you’ll be doing…within reason of course.
• What holiday traditions do you need to schedule in? Things like Thanksgiving dinner, seeing Christmas lights, going to candlelight service, and our Top-10 Must-Watch Christmas movie list are some of our favorites.

Step 3: WEEKLY AND DAILY ROUTINES – What needs to be written into the daily/weekly family calendar?

On Sundays, take a look at the week ahead and plug into your calendar when you need to be doing what. This includes things like:

• Leave house at 3:15pm to take Sally to soccer
• Pick up Becky from ballet at 7pm
• Book dinner reservation at [youbetteralreadyknowthisfellas] for [pre planned date]
• What night(s) will you have an evening meal together, around the dinner table, with no distractions?
• When will you have “Porch Time” with your spouse? This is what Mandy and I call the non-surface-level conversations that keep us grounded and on the same page. We don’t do the “how was your day” stuff. We make time to get into the weeds of how we can best serve one another, not just for the good of our marriage but because we genuinely love talking with one another. 

Then, each evening, pull up the agenda for the following day and fill in anything that just popped up or absolutely needs to get done. These could also be habits you are trying to make unconscious. Here are some of my favorites:

• Give your daughter an unsolicited piggy back ride
• Encourage your son to open doors for his mom and sister
• Smile and high five a stranger
• Make a service worker laugh
• Ask a great question to your kids (a recent one that I asked our 11-year old that turned into a wonderful conversation was “What is the best part of being 11? What is the most challenging part?”)

Conclusion:

If you do step 1 & 2 right, before the new year, then step 3 is the only “real” ongoing work as you’d populate your weekly family calendar on an ongoing basis. 

But if you do this, it will keep you on track towards your monthly rituals. 

And if you do that, you’ll nail your seasonal rhythms.