You’ve probably heard the idea that we only get 18 summers with our kids.

It’s everywhere. The message is simple: Make the most of the time you have, because once your kids grow up, that’s it.

When I first heard it, I nodded along. It made sense. It even felt motivating.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized: this idea doesn’t align with the vision I have for my family.

It assumes that at 18, our relationship with our kids is essentially over—that they’ll go off into the world, leaving us behind, and our job as parents is simply to launch them into independence.

This is the prevailing wisdom, and reality, in Western culture. We’re told that raising kids means preparing them to become rugged individuals who “make it on their own.”

But that narrative? It’s not rooted in family and certainly doesn’t line up with what the Gospel calls us to. 

It’s rooted in hyper-individualism.

And I don’t buy it.

Instead, I want to raise children who are contributors—not just to society but to our family mission and vision that God has called us to. I want to build something that lasts far beyond 18 summers.

But here’s the thing: to build something like that, you need a vision.

When I started thinking about this, I struggled. I didn’t have a clear picture of what I wanted for my family’s future. My ideas were scattered, and honestly, a little vague.

Frankly, they still are.

What am I really working toward? What kind of legacy do I want to leave behind? 

Maybe a better question is: what vision am I not ok with coming true?

If you’re anything like I was, maybe you’re asking yourself similar questions.

This is the hard but essential work of leadership—getting clarity about where you’re headed so you can start taking intentional steps to get there.

For me, this clarity came when I realized my family isn’t just a collection of individuals living under the same roof. We’re a team. A ministry. A mission.

And our mission doesn’t expire when the kids turn 18.

When Mandy and I started building a vision for our family, we asked:

• What do we want things to look like when we’re great grandparents?

• How can we create traditions that bind us together, even as our kids grow up?

• What legacy do we want to leave for future generations?

• What are the stories that are important to pass down?

• How do we faithfully steward our gifts so that we provide value to others?

Answering these questions gave us focus. It allowed us to create a game plan for our family’s future—one that’s built around faith, connection, and contribution.

Now, it’s your turn.

What’s your vision for your family?

Even if it feels fuzzy right now, don’t let that stop you. The key is starting the conversation—with yourself, your spouse, and eventually your kids.

And if you’re unsure where to begin, that’s exactly why I created my coaching program. It’s designed to help dads like you craft a vision, even a fuzzy one, for your family’s future and then create a game plan to make it happen.

Because here’s the truth: You don’t have to settle for just 18 summers. You can build a family legacy that lasts for generations. 

What does that look like for you? Hit reply and let me know.